*laughs* "Who The Quizzes Say I am"

I thought this might be kind of fun. Some of these quizzes are pretty hilarious and fun to share with others. Though I doubt anybody reads these blogs but me, at least interesting to go back and look at for future references, maybe take the test at a later date and see if i changed any? ha.
Only putting the ones where I agree with the outcome, yes, even the harsh ones. boohoo.
So here is one i thought was interesting..What is my Element? hmm. Agree with almost all this one has to say about me.

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

LoL, okay.. here is a good one. My real name is Pamela. So what is my Irish name? *grins*

Your Irish Name Is...

Eva O'Leary

What's your Irish Name?

This next one is most definitely me. *sniffle* Always knew I was co-dependent.

You May Be a Bit Dependent ...

You're more than a little preoccupied with being abandoned. You need a lot of support in your life, at all times. It's difficult for you to survive on your own...And you don't reallly think you ever could.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Inner European is Dutch!

Open minded and tolerant. You're up for just about anything.

Who's Your Inner European?

Gone To H*ll In A HandBasket!

It seems when I do not take the time to sit here and write out my feelings, things go from bad to worse for me all over again.
I still think I was born under a bad sign or am cursed or just have pure bad bad karma to deal with and as I stated in an earlier post, I just don't get the karma business when I have never been anything but gentle and loving to most the people in my life, even to the people who constantly kick me in the teeth, over and over again. and yes, I could see having karmic debt from a past life to deal with - but my deeds and sickness I must face everyday of my life certainly must account for some of my past deeds. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK!! PLEASE!

Lets see, about my Toshiba laptop that croaked after only owning it for 3 months and yes, it was brand new, out of the box. It sat at the Toshiba warranty center almost 2 weeks before they ever got around to touching it. Finally the man called me and told me PART of the problem was caused by static electricity, because I still had the plastic cover on the top of it. doh. Don't know how he came to that conclusion when he told me the other problem was caused by a hard drive failure. Complete and total failure. He asked me if I wanted any data off of it, since I had not backed it up, like a dummy.. and all my email addys, pictures and stuff were on there.. though he could not back up no programs at all he wanted to charge me $150 dollars just to recover a small amount of data. Bascially emails and pictures. But I told him okay anyway. But I guess it was not for me to worry, or to have those email addys or pictures because he later called back and said he could not recover no data off that hard drive, that is how shot it was.
I thought maybe in the future I could take it to a data recovery place or something and asked him, well that hard drive (the old one) is bascially mine isn't it? So you could send it to me when you return my fixed computer to me? OH no no, we have to return this non-working hard drive back to toshiba or they charge us full price for the hard drive. sheesh. well okay. The only way was for me to leave him a credit card and if I did not return the old hard drive back to them in a specific amount of time then they would charge my credit card for the full price of a brand new hard drive. What a bunch of BS as far as i'm concerned. I never heard of such a thing in my life and think he was just giving me any answer that would help him get bucks out of me or no data recovery.
Then he let me know that he would be sending me back my computer, with the new hard drive installed on it, but it would be completely blank. In order for it to have Windows installed on it or any of the toshiba programs that came pre-installed on it, it would cost me ANOTHER $50 bucks. Gee. these people are like blood suckers, only money suckers - which is just as bad. Funny how it is supposed to have a 1 year unlimited warranty on it but for every little thing they do, besides just fixing the very basics, which means troubleshooting the problem and fixing it everything else above and beyond that they want to charge you an arm and a leg.
I also told the man, it sure is funny that a hard drive is going to fail after only 3 months. He said not really, that hard drives are the most replaced part on a computer. Well it is funny that i've owned computers since about 1991 and in all that time NEVER had a hard drive fail on me. Had plenty of power supplies and fans go out on me but never a hard drive.
One thing I can say for certain, I will NEVER EVER buy from Toshiba again.

Enough of that. What else? Well, my roommate got taxes done and got stuck owing IRS like over 6 thousand dollars. That puts my roommate in one heck of a b*tchy mood and takes it all out on me. Really I am at the end of my rope in this situation as well. I've started looking for a little one bedroom apartment for myself, my kitty and my fish.
I've never lived on my own and think it would be nice to live on my own. Nobody else's BS to put up with. Nobody else's mood to deal with, just my own. Free to be me. Who i am when I want to be. I think i'd pass out not having to deal with another person's trippy moods. Just my own is enough to deal with at times.
It would be a complete lifestyle change for me, but nothing that I do not think I can handle. If anything I think it would make me more stronger and much more reliant upon myself. Something I need!
I am so sick of people pushing me around. Telling me how to do things, how not to do things. Arrgh!!

My sleep has went totally down the tubes again. I think I sat up for two nights in a row, only falling asleep when I would pass out sitting up. *wake me up inside, can't wake up, call my name and save me from the nothing I've become. bring me to life. Frozen inside without your love, without your touch* Last night I did try to sleep like a normal person and then the phone rang at 3:30am in the morning. I was so angry I called the number back that showed up on my caller ID and was NOT nice. Asked the girl, why are you calling my house in the middle of night? she said, who is this? *laughs* again, i was angry and just said.. why you calling my house in the middle of the night.. finally she said, I was trying to get ahold of my mom. I said obviously you dialed wrong and at 3:30 in the morning you should be more careful about the numbers you are dialing and slammed the phone down and no, i did not feel bad for acting like such a moron because AGAIN, i was awake.. like a dweeb.

I still have not wrote Lano's mother a thank you note or anything. Still not sure what I should do. *laughs* It is an internal battle. Part of me wants to do nothing at all then there is this good girl inside of me that says I should at least write and say thank You for the good birthday wishes. blah. Whatever I do, i better do it soon because I can't send a thank you note a month later.. now that would seem weird.

I'm done for now. I need fresh cold water and see how the day is going, it is almost noon here.

Peace and Love,
Embrisa/Pamela.

Something Beautiful

I saw this quote and thought, Gee, this is me and how beautiful it is....

"I can't get mad at You for hurting me over and over again cause over and over again I let You."

*big frown*

Days Of Our Lives

I've been sleeping much better lately. Don't know why or How, but I will not complain about it - Just be thankful for every bit of sleep I do manage to get.

Maybe my heartbreak over Lano is slowly healing where I can sleep or maybe Lano's attentions are on something else now and he has more important things to do than sit and throw negativity towards me.

Sometimes it feels as if my heart is healing, other times, like this morning I sat and just cried like a baby. I still miss him sometimes. Even though he was a drunk and a liar, he had some good qualtities about him as well. Like he just did not treat me like a sex object. He actually had things to talk about other than sex all the time and I liked that and miss it alot. Sometimes it feels I will never find a man like that again. It makes my heart very sad and brings tears to my eyes.
Maybe he didn't treat me like a sex object because he was too drunk all the time to care much about sex. Drunks usually lose their sex drive, or at least most of it. But no matter, I still miss the conversations.
I'm not even 100% sure why I miss the conversations. Usually he talked only about himself and how crappy his life was and how sick he was today, or yesterday or a month ago... depended on how long it had been since I had last spoken to him.
Or he would sit and brag about how great he treated the black people at work while everybody else just turned their backs on them or how he was going to become a Muslim. OMG.
I always wondered.. If he can treat all these people so great and so wonderful, why does he treat me like a dog in a cage? Never got my answer and guess I never will. Guess it was my fate to go through this with a guy like him. Why? Guess i'd have to ask God and he isn't talking either.

Anyway, I had my good cry over my lose of Lano this morning. Now i feel a bit lighter and better in my heart.. maybe for a time.

The snow we got from yesterday is DEEP and cold. brrr. I have no idea how much of the white stuff we actually got but they were saying on the news up to 12 inches and it actually looks like there could be 12 inches of snow out there. Now all I need is a snow plow because I am NOT going out there to shovel that much snow.

Last night I felt in a mood to cook so I cooked myself a pot of Italian style wedding meatballs and spinach in a chicken broth. Turned out pretty good. I never cooked it before and followed the directions from a recipe. I wasn't that turned on by the italian style meatballs, don't know why they call them "wedding style" except maybe they are small. LOL.
So I ate a bowl of the stuff and have a pot left over in the refrigerator that will probably end up getting thrown out, since I will never eat it again. I just am not very turned on by meat anymore and I don't know why. Kind of like milk. I used to love milk, now I won't touch the stuff with a 10 foot pole. Both just make me feel ill when I eat/drink them. Yuck.
So even though I am a diabetic and pasta style stuff is not good for me, it seems it is all my tummy can handle these days. Not even pasta sauce, ewww. So seems I am limited to bits of pasta, fresh salad and fruits and that is about it for me as far as food goes. Oh and since I am a lover of garlic and cannot find garlic bread in the grocery store (seems I am the only one who loves garlic bread) i've been making my own garlic bread lately in my bread machine.

I took the betta who was in the tiny cup, the one who's bowl broke on me and I put him in the 10 gallon fish tank and even though I did not wait the entire 3 or 4 days one is supposed to wait before adding fish, he seems to be doing well. But he seems kind of sneaky. There is a divider in there so eventually I can add the other betta and they will not kill each other.. but I look one minute and the sneaky little thing is on the other side of the divider, then I will look again and he is back on the other side again. Odd that is. I cannot figure out how he is getting back and forth and when I watch him, though I am clear across the room he doesn't go back and forth.. waits till all my attention is on something else and makes his way back to the other side. Seems I will either have to get a new divider that actually works or forget about putting the other betta in there. *frowns*

Ahahah!! I busted him going to the other side. One swift swoosh near the bottom of the divider and he was to the other side. hmm. interesting. Well, I guess I need a new divider or can piss off putting the other betta in there. *grumbles to herself* He doesn't seem to like the other side very much though. *laughs* it is kind of funny. He looks misplaced, or should I say, acts it. Maybe it is because the filter is on that side and he don't know what to think of it. He calms back down when he gets back to his own side. Weird little fishy creature he is.

Well I guess it is time for this one to go start her day. I love to write each day, seems to take away some of my stresses and writing here helps me to save paper. Don't know how many diaries I have filled up, but I have half a book shelf of them. I guess there is some good and bad to both ways. I still jot down the real personal stuff in my paper diary, especially my poetry and my hard emotions I just would never want anybody else to ever read.

Love and Light,
Embrisa/Pamela.

What Are Your Beliefs? Take A Quiz. LOL.

*Laughs* You can tell that this quiz was put together by somebody who had motives? Don't think I ever been told I had one ounce of Satanism in me before. Actually I took a quiz like this on a more reputable site, one where the users do not make up the quizzes and the answer turned out a whole lot different. I do enjoy Buddhism. Could not believe it rated me the same for Christianity and Islam, *makes horrible face* since I do not believe much in what muslims believe in. Oh well, it was a fun quiz anyway. heh. :-) Embrisa/Pamela You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already. In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth. Buddhism 88% Satanism 79% Hinduism 63% Paganism 58% Christianity 54% Islam 54% agnosticism 38% atheism 33% Judaism 33% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

The Day After!

Well, I am now officially 43 Years old. Eeeek!! Not sure how I should feel about being this age, but it seems to get easier. I remember when I turned 40. It was so tragic. I cried and cried and cried for days before and days afterwards.
But now it just does not seem so bad. It kind of feels what they say about women aging "like old wine" is true. We only get better with age. LOL. I have to wonder how true this is. But as long as I feel so, then aging cannot bother me. I guess as I get closer to 50, It will hit me again and the tears will come again with each birthday. (If I live that long.)

I woke up today to a snow storm. Not just any snow storm but a massive snow storm.


Day After My Birthday!


Day After Birthday Brrrrr

I got my fish stand yesterday and last night set up my 10 gallon fish tank. Talk about a hassle. The biggest hassle was putting in the divider. Since I have two bettas and they are fighter fish, they have to stay seperated. But it is all set up now and looks very good. I guess I have to wait 24 to 48 hours before I actually put the fish in. Make sure the filter system and heater is working properly, etc. blah. I will take some pics in a few days time and post one here.

It has been weighing heavily on my heart as what I should do about the birthday wishes Lano's mother sent me. Part of me doesn't want to do anything but ignore it, but the other part says it is not right just to ignore and should at least send a "thank you" note back.
But I am afraid if I send something back I will be really bad and tell her just what I think of her and her lying son.

Much Love & Light
embrisa/pamela

Happy Birthday To Me?

It seems sometimes life just cannot get any worse than it already is, regardless of the day, the time, the week, whatever.

It started out pretty good. I got my beautiful tulips yesterday, though it was not my birthday yet.. but for them to deliver flowers on saturday is very expensive.. so I got them on friday instead of today. I also got a very nice tunic type blouse from a friend. It actually looked very nice, especially since I lost almost 100 lbs in the past year. I also got a pair of white lace thongs. *laughs* But not tried those on yet, so no idea how those might or might not look.

Actually, everything was great till I woke up and read my e-mails. There was an e-mail in there from Lano's mother. She said she was just writing to wish me a happy birthday for herself and Lano and Lano would of wrote himself but his computer is broke down and he has no way to get it fixed. She also said Lano thought about calling me but thought it was not appropriate since he has not been in contact with me for so long. She signed it, Regards Joy.
I found the whole letter kind of disturbing for a couple of reasons. 1st of all, they only have one computer ... so if it is broke down, how was she writing me? and number 2, same e-mail address as Lano's but just with her name. Many ISP's allow you to have more than one e-mail addy.
I really don't know what it all means, but either Lano wrote and just pretended to be his mother or had his mother write, obviously.. but why the rest of the lies, I do not know.
I guess I can understand that he wanted to at least send me birthday wishes but wanted no other contact with me and that is fine, but again, I am sick of the lies and really am not such a chump that I would prefer to be lied to and led on regarding a relationship and I've always told him such. But I guess he doesn't want to end the relationship in case sometime in the future he 'needs' pammie, he can come running, have a thousand excuses for why he was gone.. the reasons he did what he did, etc.. and expect me to forgive him like I always have.
But this time He will be in for a big surprise, because he will never get a hold of me again.


*Half A Heart*

Anyway, I was for the most part happy before I got that e-mail. Don't know why I let it affect me so much. Why I let him affect me. I know he is only a lying dog and incapable of love. He hates himself so much so how could he possibly love anybody else?

Usually I prefer reading a real book, something I can hold in my hands.. touch, feel, smell. really take in. But recently I been doing Audio books. They can be kind of interesting if you listen to them while driving or when you have absolutely nothing else to do.. but really, that is the ticket.. You have to give them 100% of your attention to fully take them in and catch most of the details and sometimes it is hard to give anything 100% of your attention

Okay, Well, Lots to do today so will write more later.

Peace and Love,
Embrisa/Pamela.
.

New Day, More Hate Inside of Me.

I was soooo tired last night that I actually fell asleep in the middle of the night, when Mr. Satan himself (Lano) was still awake and throwing his negativity towards me. When I woke up this morning, I actually felt different, almost sick. Odd that I have to sleep when a person who is 3000 miles away from me sleeps in order to avoid bad dreams and ill health.

As the days go by, I wonder how I ever loved this person at all. Well, I know how. I felt sorry for him. When I first met him, he had nobody in his life at all except his booze. Not even his parents wanted anything to do with him. He sat inside an empty house day after day, night after night, crying and drinking and complaining that nobody wanted nothing to do with him. Yet out of all that time I was the only one who stood by him. Funny in the end, i'm the one who takes it up the behind.

After his parents lost their business and everything they owned and had to move to some small town in S. Africa, where his mothers brother lives.. who was going to give them all jobs and support them till they got on their feet...he decided working for his 2 american dollars a day and his glue sniffing, moth smelling girl, who let him abuse her was far worth more than any kind of love I could give him.
Yet, time after time... whenever he would get into an argument with her, he'd come a'runnin back to me. "oh i love you, i love you. I need you. I will do anything to be with you. Nobody means as much to me as you do and blah blah blah" and time after time i'd fall for it all over again.
His mother is no better. A lady he claims his mother is? Yet they have the audacity to sit and gossip and lie about me when I always treated everybody in his family with the utmost respect and common curtsey. It got to the point where I would call and she would actually accuse me to my face (well, on the phone) "did you just call here and hang up on me?" Like i am sooo stupid that I would actually call his house and hang up on his mother only to call back and ask for him? That makes no sense to me and i'd have to be mentally retarded to do something that stupid.
But in the end, it was just a ploy so I would not call and ask for Lano no more. Why play stupid games when over and over I told Lano, "if this relationship is over, all you have to do is say so and make it easy on both me and my heart." but it was always "no no, it is not over..why would you think that? I love you.. " and his same old bullcrap lines.

Now a battle rages on inside of me. A small part of me (my heart) still loves him in the tiniest way. But the rest of me hates him soooo much that if i could, i'd destroy him. But I would do it sooo slowly and so painful, just as he is doing to me.. that he would have no doubts at all that it was me who was cursing his a*s.

For me to speak this way is very shocking to myself because I have never ever been a lady of hate. I've always loved everybody. Every night I sit and do exercises on forgiveness and releasing anger and resentment, but perhaps my soul just is not ready to forgive him yet because it is just not working. In the past, whenever he wronged me (which was a thousand and ten times) I always forgave him on the drop of a dime. Maybe that is another reason he took advantage of me the way he did. Because i was such a sucker to forgive him the way I did.

Sometimes I sit and think about our last few conversations. Sometimes I'd say something pertaining to "us" and he would say "Nooooo"... but give no reason for it. I guess I was not thinking because I was not picking up on the subtle hints he was giving me that things were not the same between us and he just did not love me no more, if ever. Yet, while he was saying Noooo .. he was still saying "i love you and when are you going to send me the money to come to you pammie?" *laughs* I am soo glad I never sent that fool a dime of my money though I spent thousands of dollars on him in other ways. Gifts, etc.. but the main way was by calling him. Calling S. Africa was not cheap and I am still paying off those phone bills though we have not spoke since February.

So that is that. I guess he found the stupid American chick he was looking to use while he could. Get all he could get out of her. Abuse her all he could possibly abuse her and then run like hell. Yes, I guess Lano got what he wanted.



But the next time around, I HOPE he is the one who gets taken for the sucker and gets heartbroken. I hope he falls down a staircase and breaks his legs. Heck, I don't know what I hope for that lyin' dog.. but whatever it is, I hope it is the worst of the worst.

Anyway, enough venting about him. He doesn't deserve so much of my time.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Ugggh. But I have some awesome flowers coming... i think like 40 tulips. 20 white and 20 red in a red vase. Hmmm. i love flowers. Almost as many flowers for as many years old as I will be. lol.
Also, my fingers finally quit bleeding from the fish bowl exploding in my hands, but the gashes are huge and can see the inside of my fingers. I know I probably should of had stitches, but at least it is healing without. Also been using an iodine wash on them. Ouch that burns.

Okie, I am done gripping for the moment.
Love Embrisa.

Born Under A Bad Sign?

Well, I thought things were going a little bit better since I was sharing my feelings about my sleep, etc. Even been sleeping a bit better on a more regular basis without no horrifying dreams or anything too weird happening...
But last night upon wakening, I went to feed my fish and noticed some water around the bowl. hmm this is strange I thought. So like a total idiot I picked up the fish bowl to have a check and no sooner than I picked it up, the whole thing completely shattered. Water, sand and my poor little fishy landing in a pile at my feet and to make matters worse, while the fish bowl is breaking, it is cutting big gashes into my fingers. So on top of all that mess I am bleeding like crazy and blood is going all over my brand new off-white carpet. *sighs*
So I can tell today that a few of my fingers need stitches. They will not quit bleeding and the gashes are so deep you can see the insides of my fingers. But I have no way to get to the hospital unless I call and ambulance and I don't think I want to call and ambulance for two fingers. I am able to drive, but not sure I can do it when I have to shift gears and bleed all over. Who knows, it might be fun.
I've kept them wrapped up in clean linens, but if the linens dry even in the slightest bit it causes the wounds to bleed all over again. Ugggh. Lets see, I've also tried bandages and gauze with the same outcome.

I feel really, really angry.. because my life just seems to be one hellish event after another and I do not know why. I've never done nothing to hurt anybody. I've always been a very shy, quiet person. Kept to myself for the most part. Never had a lot of friends, but the friends I did have I always adored and kept close to my heart. Though there were always the ones who always hurt me or used me or went out of their way to steal my boyfriend away or something of that nature.

It makes me wonder about Karma. I've always been a firm believer in karma. But what the heck is it truly? Just something us innocent people get beat up from from past lives, something we don't even remember... while the true a*sholes of this world walk around hurting people, abusing people, lying to others.. like Lano, with no consequences on their lives?

And what about God? Even God does not love the righteous? *sigh* I feel very confused. He loves us so darn much that he allows those who practice evil to hurt us? Where is the justice in all of this? The world is not made up of justice I do not guess. The truly righteous people get kicked in the stomach by things like karma, God, and even Aholes like Lano.
I feel like that one guy in the bible, cannot remember his name right now.. the one who satan wants to see if through no matter what, the guy will stick by God.. so God agrees and they put this poor guy through all kinds of hellish tests. Disease, death, just about everything one can think of and they do it to this guy... wish I could remember his name. I feel like a rock head for not being able to right now. Anyway, that is how my life feels.
Lano would love this, if he ever read it... since he loves the devil soooo much. I always pissed him off because I never believed in satan. I always said satan was our own egos and hell was right here on earth. Ohh i used to piss him off so badly at me when i talked that way. How could I possibly believe in a God and not a satan? hmmm. Maybe I need to re-think my own thinking.

Anyway, enough complaining and griping from me. I need to figure out what to do with my day and my fingers and I need to figure out what to do with my poor fish who is swimming around in the tiny cup that I bought him in.

Peace and love, Embrisa.

Still Learning

I typed a whole blog out -- took me hours to do.. so i previewed it and thought oh, i want to check it for spelling mistakes, so I hit the back button, well lo' and behold, I lost everything. *sigh* I guess that is why I still prefer my paper diaries anyday.
Nothing gets lost or deleted by accident. *big unhappy face*

Embrisa~

I Will Eat Your Soul For Dinner! 

Sleep a little sleep, Dream a little Dream.

I tried a little test out today. Since Lano is 8 hours ahead of me or so, I actually waited until it was time for him to go to sleep before I actually tried to sleep. But when I hit the bed, I slept like there was no tomorrow and no strange dreams, or any dreams as far as that goes.. that I can remember anyway. No wild men chasing me. No Demons haunting me. Nothing. When I woke up, I woke up feeling revitalized and happy. No crying tears for hours on end or anything strange.
I feel completely baffled and I wonder what exactly any of this could have to do with Lano. Having been involved with Lano for 5 years, I know that he was involved in satanism and voodoo and other ungodly acts but I thought that was something He gave up long ago.
The only thing I could possibly think is that he directs negative, evil thoughts towards me during my sleep time? But wouldn't a person have to put an awful lot of psychic energy into doing this?
Anyway, in those 5 years, he never went into a lot of details about what he learned, saw, experienced etc when he was a practicing satantist. He always danced around the question. He would only say that you think these people look different from you and I, but they do not. Like I expected them to be running around with a bone sticking out of their nose or something.
I experienced lots of other wierd psychic stuff with Lano, but I won't get into that now. Just wanted to update on how I slept and felt when I slept when Lano slept and got interesting results.
Sleep tight, Embrisa.

Sleepless In Colorado

It was another sleepless night. I think truly I am afraid to sleep. It is not that I am not tired, it is that I fight sleep like a baby would do because I know when I do fall asleep I will visit the land of Hell.
Sometimes I wonder if Lano, or somebody else is behind my bad dreams. I wonder if somebody thinks about you, if you pick up on their thoughts, be they good or bad, if they might affect ones dreams. Interesting thought.
Sometimes it feels if I sleep during the times I know Lano is sleeping, I am not affected by these dreams. Maybe it is all just in my head.
Funny, I've been keeping a dream diary for at least the past 4 or 5 years and I am no closer to understanding my dreams today than I was so many years back and they claim the first process to understanding ones dreams is to keep a journal of them. ha.
Maybe someday I will sleep again.

Please Follow the link Below to Add a Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon to Your Page. Thank You.

Embrisa/Pamela~

Breast Cancer