One Week Later

Well, It has been exactly one week since I last spoke to Mr. Liar Lano. I guess not exactly one week, since we spoke well into the following day, but this is about the time that I called him last week - when he actually picked up his phone like a man and spoke. *laughs at the man part*

Anyway, my home phone is totally jacked now. I picked it up and tried to call him and it gave me some recording, telling me to call customer service. So bascially is not letting me make any more long distant phone calls.
But last week I bought a phone card to call him, since I was *supposed* to call him on Monday and he blew me off like usual, so i used that instead.. because I wanted to tell him that I think he is a low-life drunk, a liar and he will never ever hear from me again and bascially hang up.
But lo' and behold he is a chicken a*s and does not answer his phone. I knew it was only 10% chance that he would answer his phone, but i had to try anyway. I'm not like him. I don't beat around the bush. When something is over, it is over. I want to tell the person, adios. Goodbye. Kiss off. Whatever. At least there is some closure. With lano, he lies like a dog. He speaks words of loves, lies, even talks of marriages, does whatever it takes to break your heart all over again. *screams*
That guy has some serious mental problems. He doesn't want to speak to you, yet he doesn't want to end things either and will go so far as to making up one lie after another just so you do not end things with him.

Why wouldn't he want it to end if he does not love you?? or care in the least little bit? This is something I will never know I don't guess.

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence, nor imagination, nor both together go to the making of Genius.
Love Love Love, that is the soul of a Genius!"
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Ahhh.. i love that saying..
and this one.. though i forget who wrote it. :(

"Our Ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside of ourselves will affect us."

I pour love into all that i do~

embrisa/pamela.

What Kind Of Soul Am I?

Both these tests seem to fit me to a tee. Strange that is. Some seem to hit it right on the nose, others seem to be miles off the mark.

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

What Is My Love Number?

Your Love Number is

2 Of all the numbers, you are the most caring and empathetic lover. Unselfish and humble, you find it easy to forgive your sweetie's mistakes. At times, your need to please can be come a bit too needy. As long as you remain somewhat independent, your relationships are perfectly balanced.

What Is Your Love Number?

Well I guess being an Aries, I stood firm by my star sign and did not give up on Lano. I actually kept trying to call him and to my 'dismay' he answered his telephone on Saturday.

I guess it was the most stupidest thing I ever did. I just have too many problems in my life to have to deal with heart break over and over again. Not to mention broken promises.

His words were actually very sweet and kind and he proclaimed his love to me over and over again. Along with all the sweetness and his words of love (lies) he invited me to his house to live and become his mate for life. (i don't see how he can live with himself for lying so blantly to somebody who loves him so much)
Anyway, we spent like 16 hours on the phone, which is NOT good for me since i still owe almost 600 dollars and it is due to be shut off by the phone company any day. Now add another 16 hours onto my poor phonebill and the new charges alone will be over 1000 dollars.
So after all his proclamations of love and moving in with him, etc. He asked me to call him Monday afternoon (his time). So i spent time buying a phone card, adding more to my credit card, etc.. i had very strange feeling in gut and it turned out my gut was right because when I tried to call his house at the time he asked me to call and time we had agreed upon, he did not answer!!

I knew he was home because one time while I was trying to call, his phone was actually busy busy. So he blew me off like he normally does.
I guess it comes as no big surprise, but it dang hurts, like h*ll come and smashed into my heart 1000x's over.

I just do not understand him. Why wouldn't any honest man just tell you they do not love you, it is over, do not contact them again and that is that. At least that is the right thing to do. It gives the other person closure to their heart and lets them move on to bigger and better things. Obviously Lano is not an honest man.

Anyway, no matter what happens now, I can never speak to Lano again. I cannot live off lies and blind faith. Also, the more I keep going back, chasing him so to speak -- the more Lano knows he can use me and knows he can get away with bull crap when it comes to my heart and my world.

I've never wished bad things against anybody or anything, but for Lano, I wish he would fall into a big hold and break his legs or his p*nis. Maybe then he'd know what true hurt is, but somehow I doubt it. It seems the only thing Lano understands is lies and manipulation, something I don't know much about but maybe something I need to learn. Hate to think I need to manipulate people the way he does though.

Love and Light to All,

embrisa/pamela.