Border Line!

Well I stayed up all night Saturday night, like a bloody fool, trying to get ahold of Lano. I guess his mommie must of been gone, because nobody answered the phone there and depending upon Lano's mood, he may or may not answer.

I guess he must of had some idea it was me who was calling and just did not want to deal with it or me. Always did tell me not many people dial their home phone number, most dial his mothers cell phone if wanted to get in touch with them. *shrugs* I on the other hand will not call his mothers cell phone, i'd rather puke first. Odd how i used to like that woman.

I really don't know what to say about it. It is obvious he does not love him as I do love him and I guess nor has he never. I cannot sit here and feel sorry for myself obviously but it would help if the truth would stick with me and I were able to move along, once and for all.

Maybe someday my heart will catch up with my mind, i just do not know. I just know that it hurts alot and he is a dirty dog for lying the way he did for so long. But again, it does not help to put him down or hold grudges, not if one wants to live in a state of Grace.

I guess he did what he had to do. I guess he lied because he felt he had to lie and that is that.

I'm going to curl up in my nice warm sheets and comforter and try to not cry myself to sleep.

Love & Light to You All.

embrisa/pamela.