Mr Slovenia came back into my life, yes once again and yes i was a happy happy girl. I have no idea why he makes me so durn happy, but he does. He also has the ability to take my heart right out of my chest and absolutely crush it, mash it and make the tears fall like rain.
He asked me lots of questions. We talked about lots of things. He made sure to tell me right away that while away on a business trip, he slept with a married German woman. How the minute He shook her hand, He got a massive hard-on and could only think about how he could get her into bed. I was not even going to ask and I should not of asked, but like a dummy I did, "so did You sleep with her." and of course, I got the answer I expected.."yes i did."
The tears ran cold and deep. I have not hurt so bad since Lano. I guess somewhere in there I made him very angry at me because He told me I was nothing more than a cum receptile for the Dominant men online. Ahhh.. talk about even more tears. I've always taken great pride in the men I have anything to do with sexually. Always. No man uses me sexually. Vanilla, Dominant, or otherwise. So his words sliced me like a knife cutting me deep.
Things eventually cooled down and we were able to speak like adults again. We talked about some of the things i would like in a Dominant and some of the things He would like as a submissive.
I admitted that I liked Him and that I wanted Him as my Master. He told me nobody ever admitted that to Him before, though He had been in a few D/s relationship online before. He gave me some wonderful examples and in return asked what I would want. I did not think what I wanted in return was much and if He felt He could not give these things then He was welcome to set me Free.
Today everything seemed so different. So cold he did act towards me. I even took time to set up tripod and take the pictures he wanted (and no, not naked ones). I was soundly asleep when He woke up and became active on Yahoo.. i woke up like electricity shot down my spine, happy and bubbly to see Him.. but it was like away I could pick up on his energy and mood. He did not want me around Him.
I want to cry so badly, but really crying does nothing for me. Gets me nowhere but back into my little hole and really why am I crying? Over a man who could care crap about me?
He even had the gall to tell me that I could not keep up with him sexually? How could He possibly know this? Because i am unwilling to jump on Him right away on the computer. Because I prefer some kind of bond before I'm off wanking all over the world?
The truly funny part is that I could probably make love circles around Him. I could love Him like He has never ever been loved before and give him more and more, just like I could of with Lano-but he is not man enough to find out.. just wants to play his little game-so I will back away and let him play. I guess in the end, He could not handle a real woman like he thought he could.So goodbye Mihec/David. May God Bless the Ground that You Walk Upon ~
I guess people come and go out of ones life on Yahoo just like they do in real life. There are the few who remain always. The ones You can count on through thick and thing, but they are few and few in-between. Sometimes it seems one loses one friend and gains another, I don't know but it is a little weird.
I recently met a fellow in CA who is into very heavy breath play. Plastic bags on head. Mummification. Body Bags, the whole bit. Anything that inhibits ones flow of breath he likes it. Very much a pleasure to chat with.
I've always had some strange attraction to breath play. but some of that stuff just plain scares me, like mummification, etc.
On the other hand, my friend who moved here from the UK.. he has taken on the strangest attitude and personality as of late. It is almost as if he is afraid to be caught talking to me or maybe just pure ashamed. period.
So i've tried to keep my distance.
Todays I start my first Yoga/Tai Chi classes. I guess this first time I will just be with the teacher so he can evulate me to be if I am healthy/flexible etc enough to be in the whole class. If not then I guess I can study with Him once a week in private for just a tad bit more money.
I must run now and take a shower, collect my thoughts and my being and get Mr. Slovenia out of my head.
Will Let You Know How Yoga/Tai Chi went. LOL..
Love and Light,
embrisa/pamela.
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