Snow Flakes In Her Eyes

I think I am completely lost and completely sick.

I have not felt this sick in my tummy in so long. But I know it is from nerves and general upset.
I know I talk alot about Chakras and stuff like that and feeling energy in my tummy area, etc. Here is a nice picture that kinda shows where one's charkas are located and some general information about them.



My dear friend from Slovenia showed back up in my life. I felt so happy that I did not even think twice about speaking to Him, about anything. I was just happy. He makes me happy. Unfortunately It was a good conversation that turned for the worse and my poor heart got mangled all over again.

I need to learn to leave these young men alone or something. I also must remember the old saying. "hurt me once, shame on You. Hurt me again, shame on ME."

I think everything was going so/so until again I told Him I do not masturbate online. Then He seemed to get a little snobby and told me I could turn off my webcam, so I did it. When I did it, my whole system shut down because it has been heating up again quite frequently just like it did before it went into the shop in the first place. *sigh* I only left it off long enough to take my medicines and switched it back on and went back into yahoo. He did not PM me, not a single hello, not a single welcome back.. nothing.
Maybe I expect too much? I do not know. Uggggh.
I waited maybe 1/2 hour or so before I pm'd Him and told him i was sorry for whatever I had done to make him so very upset at me and I would remove him from my pal list. He returned the PM and acted like he did not even know I had been gone? Gee what great company i am huh? I can be gone for 15 minutes and one does not even notice I am gone. LOL. *sniffs*

There is that pattern again, I like Him and He does not want jack diddly to do with me.

Of course, I simply adore every person I have in my life. I feel people are not placed in my life for not reason at all. Every body is placed in my life, in my path for some reason. To teach me something, to show me something? Who knows, and yes, even online friends.

Anyway, I think after Mr. Slovenia.. I will no longer try my luck with men for a long long while. I am done. Finished.
I know for Mr. Slovenia what took place did not hurt him as long as he was able to turn around and find somebody to get off with. But it did hurt me and it did make me cry.

So no more men, just friends.. it is easier and safe that way. No heartache or liars. No nothing.




Love & Light,
Embrisa/pamela