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Friday, April 15, 2005

Gone To H*ll In A HandBasket!

It seems when I do not take the time to sit here and write out my feelings, things go from bad to worse for me all over again.
I still think I was born under a bad sign or am cursed or just have pure bad bad karma to deal with and as I stated in an earlier post, I just don't get the karma business when I have never been anything but gentle and loving to most the people in my life, even to the people who constantly kick me in the teeth, over and over again. and yes, I could see having karmic debt from a past life to deal with - but my deeds and sickness I must face everyday of my life certainly must account for some of my past deeds. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK!! PLEASE!

Lets see, about my Toshiba laptop that croaked after only owning it for 3 months and yes, it was brand new, out of the box. It sat at the Toshiba warranty center almost 2 weeks before they ever got around to touching it. Finally the man called me and told me PART of the problem was caused by static electricity, because I still had the plastic cover on the top of it. doh. Don't know how he came to that conclusion when he told me the other problem was caused by a hard drive failure. Complete and total failure. He asked me if I wanted any data off of it, since I had not backed it up, like a dummy.. and all my email addys, pictures and stuff were on there.. though he could not back up no programs at all he wanted to charge me $150 dollars just to recover a small amount of data. Bascially emails and pictures. But I told him okay anyway. But I guess it was not for me to worry, or to have those email addys or pictures because he later called back and said he could not recover no data off that hard drive, that is how shot it was.
I thought maybe in the future I could take it to a data recovery place or something and asked him, well that hard drive (the old one) is bascially mine isn't it? So you could send it to me when you return my fixed computer to me? OH no no, we have to return this non-working hard drive back to toshiba or they charge us full price for the hard drive. sheesh. well okay. The only way was for me to leave him a credit card and if I did not return the old hard drive back to them in a specific amount of time then they would charge my credit card for the full price of a brand new hard drive. What a bunch of BS as far as i'm concerned. I never heard of such a thing in my life and think he was just giving me any answer that would help him get bucks out of me or no data recovery.
Then he let me know that he would be sending me back my computer, with the new hard drive installed on it, but it would be completely blank. In order for it to have Windows installed on it or any of the toshiba programs that came pre-installed on it, it would cost me ANOTHER $50 bucks. Gee. these people are like blood suckers, only money suckers - which is just as bad. Funny how it is supposed to have a 1 year unlimited warranty on it but for every little thing they do, besides just fixing the very basics, which means troubleshooting the problem and fixing it everything else above and beyond that they want to charge you an arm and a leg.
I also told the man, it sure is funny that a hard drive is going to fail after only 3 months. He said not really, that hard drives are the most replaced part on a computer. Well it is funny that i've owned computers since about 1991 and in all that time NEVER had a hard drive fail on me. Had plenty of power supplies and fans go out on me but never a hard drive.
One thing I can say for certain, I will NEVER EVER buy from Toshiba again.

Enough of that. What else? Well, my roommate got taxes done and got stuck owing IRS like over 6 thousand dollars. That puts my roommate in one heck of a b*tchy mood and takes it all out on me. Really I am at the end of my rope in this situation as well. I've started looking for a little one bedroom apartment for myself, my kitty and my fish.
I've never lived on my own and think it would be nice to live on my own. Nobody else's BS to put up with. Nobody else's mood to deal with, just my own. Free to be me. Who i am when I want to be. I think i'd pass out not having to deal with another person's trippy moods. Just my own is enough to deal with at times.
It would be a complete lifestyle change for me, but nothing that I do not think I can handle. If anything I think it would make me more stronger and much more reliant upon myself. Something I need!
I am so sick of people pushing me around. Telling me how to do things, how not to do things. Arrgh!!

My sleep has went totally down the tubes again. I think I sat up for two nights in a row, only falling asleep when I would pass out sitting up. *wake me up inside, can't wake up, call my name and save me from the nothing I've become. bring me to life. Frozen inside without your love, without your touch* Last night I did try to sleep like a normal person and then the phone rang at 3:30am in the morning. I was so angry I called the number back that showed up on my caller ID and was NOT nice. Asked the girl, why are you calling my house in the middle of night? she said, who is this? *laughs* again, i was angry and just said.. why you calling my house in the middle of the night.. finally she said, I was trying to get ahold of my mom. I said obviously you dialed wrong and at 3:30 in the morning you should be more careful about the numbers you are dialing and slammed the phone down and no, i did not feel bad for acting like such a moron because AGAIN, i was awake.. like a dweeb.

I still have not wrote Lano's mother a thank you note or anything. Still not sure what I should do. *laughs* It is an internal battle. Part of me wants to do nothing at all then there is this good girl inside of me that says I should at least write and say thank You for the good birthday wishes. blah. Whatever I do, i better do it soon because I can't send a thank you note a month later.. now that would seem weird.

I'm done for now. I need fresh cold water and see how the day is going, it is almost noon here.

Peace and Love,
Embrisa/Pamela.

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