Falling Out Of Love~

I got the absolutely best advice I had ever received from a person I did not even know.

I wrote some silly thing about "How i cannot stop thinking about Him." along with hundreds of other ladies and it seems my particular little piece got picked out, and answered by a man (or maybe an angel?) and in his comment to me, he stated that we all can fall in love.. but the real test comes when we must 'fall out of love'.

There was much more said, yes, but the thing that caught my eye and has brought about extremely rapid healing for me was the 'falling out of love' thing.
I guess through out it all, I knew that i loved deeply.. but i had some idea in my head that once you love, you always love.. and on some level that is very true. BUT there is a difference between loving somebody and 'being' in love with somebody.

This little statement hit me like a firecracker. It made me realize how important it was for me to 'fall out of love' with him even though somewhere in my heart i will always love him. I know, i know.. it all sounds very confusing but really it is not.
Since that day, I have not spent more than perhaps 5 minutes a day thinking about HIM. When i find my thoughts going to HIM, i gently stir them away and remind myself that he left me long ago and there is no need for me to 'keep being in love' with him. That i also want happiness in my life and will never find it as long as I remained stuck with this out-dated mode of thinking.

It is so hard to explain exactly how and why these few little words impacted my whole being the way they did, but I have not shed one tear over him, i have not laid in bed cuddling my pillow wishing it was him, etc. I have completely let go and have let the healing process begin and it feels wonderful. Like these chains have been released from my poor, beaten up heart - finally.. and i can breath again, smile again, eat again without everything I do reminding me of HIM.

So if anybody should ever read this who is experiencing the same sort of problem, who feels that love lasts forever.. remember that there IS a difference between 'being in love' with them and a more 'generalized' love because of the times the two of you did share in life. The smiles, the tears, the whispered secrets.. will always cause you to bond to somebody but don't stay and keep your heart in that terror when he has clearly moved on, as it will break your soul, your heart and make you emotionally unavailable for perhaps a new, much better friend and lover in the future.

And to the person who shared this small, but valuable advice with me, I have no idea if you ever read this.. but you will never have no idea how your words of advice has impacted my soul and mind and released me to start healing. (something i thought would never happen)
To me, YOU are an angel in disguise.

Also, to all my friends.. the old ones and the new ones, the close ones and not-so-close ones.. I'd like to say thank you for sticking by me while I went through (and perhaps still am, since complete healing takes time) my self-made hell. But I see the light.. so thank you, thank you.. to those who always stood by me. I love and appreciate You all soooo much.

May God bless YOU,
embrisa/pamela.